The Myths of Marriage

Some myths die hard.

Let’s define “myth” in this case as a truism that we hear permeating our culture, but which few people ever really take the time to test.  Are there any “myths” about marriage that it’s time to put through the ringer?

The truth is that anyone who has been in a committed relationship for very long starts to realize very quickly that many of the myths they may have once believed are “busted” along the way.  Here are a few:

Myth #1: Wives should submit to their husbands.

Whoa.  This one has been abused for a looooong time.  But it’s time we read it the way Paul intended us to.  Eugene Peterson’s translation in the Message really helps.  Husbands, it’s time to get real about who is blessing whom in your marriage.

Myth #2: Love is a feeling.

Well, take a look at Ephesians 5:1-2.  See if Paul describes love as a feeling.  What you’ll find is rather a list of…you got it.  Actions.

Myth #3: If love is true, it’ll be easy.

Along with this comes the myth that there is someone “just right” for each of us, or that “you complete me.”  Rubbish.  The reality is that the hard times are what really strengthen our most intimate relationships.

Myth #4: Proximity is the same as intimacy.

Couples sometimes end up living in “parallel.”  They think they are close because of common goals, chores, etc.  But what happens when the kids are raised?  When the house is paid off and you retire from your job?  Happy couples are mindful of finding ways to intersect their lives, and not just live in parallel.

Myth #5: Your partner should meet all your needs.

Uh, well, this is just not going to happen.  The One who can meet your needs is in fact the One who created you, and your spouse.  And who brought you together.  And who is calling you to reflect His divine love and purpose.  The living God can meet our individual needs and our needs as couples and families.

For reflection:

  1. What “myths” have been busted by your real-life experience in relationship?
  2. How would you like to be married to…yourself?  What would that be like?
  3. Make a list of 3-5 “small things” you can do often (daily, weekly) to pour love out on your partner, the way God pours love out on you.

Many blessings,




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