The Sacrifice of Giving

You are the treasure.

When we think about “treasure” it’s natural to wonder what that treasure is.  Talents?  Money?  Resources?  An actual trunk of gold coins?  Those may be tools that enable our work in various ways.  But they aren’t the treasure.

You are the treasure.

In the parable of the mustard seed, Jesus describes the way God begins his work with things that appear to be small but can grow large enough for everyone to call home.

Over the past few years, University Place Presbyterian Church (UPPC) has demonstrated three qualities that are a testimony to the ways God is working in our midst.

• UPPC is a family.

In 1927, Jesus’ people wanted to teach the gospel to families on the west side of Tacoma.  The startup met at the Narrows Tomato warehouse and affectionately referred to themselves as “The Wayside Chapel.”  One record states that attendance was around 22 people.  Mostly children!

What a reminder that the congregation we gather with weekly isn’t something we deserve.  This community is a gift from God, planted around 90 years ago, which has grown into a large and beautiful tree!

• UPPC is a place where people find hope in Jesus.

The image of the “wayside” is so important to remember, because it refers to life in dynamic motion, rather than a people who give intellectual assent to a set of doctrines.  Before anyone understood what to believe about Jesus, people were drawn to Jesus himself, that is, they stopped along the wayside.  To eat and drink.  To converse.  To ask questions.  To seek healing and care.  To laugh and live life.

This organic way of living our faith is why we “embrace messiness.”  We like to say, we either are a mess, we were a mess, or we’re one dumb choice away from becoming a mess.  So welcome to the journey!

• UPPC is a people who give sacrificially.

Here’s the thing — it’s not about money.  As U2’s Bono once famously said, “The God I believe in isn’t short of cash.”  Giving sacrificially is about wanted to live a real testimony of God’s provision.  In fact, it is the only thing about which God invites us to test him — God’s generosity.

Part of sacrificial giving is doggedly maintaining an open and inviting attitude.  It’s all too easy to become comfortable in our community, but the sacrifice of throwing wide the doors means that there’s one more person or family who can experience the love of God as the mustard seed continues to spread its branches across the world.

For reflection:

1. If you can think of a time someone gave sacrificially for your sake, find a way to share that story with someone.
2. Have you ever had the chance to give sacrificially, either of money, or time, or talents, or with an attitude of openness to others?
3. Imagine your community 40 years from now; what part might you be playing now in building a community for that time?

Many blessings,

MM

 

Pitfalls and Antidotes

“A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”  (Proverbs 17:17)

This morning Pastor Aaron shared an article from the Boston Globe on a new threat to middle-aged men: loneliness.  And if people who are middle-aged struggle with loneliness, it appears the challenge increases the older we get.  According to one study, about 1/3 of all adults in the US over 60 are living alone.  Over 80?  There’s a 50/50 chance you’re living alone.

It’s tragic that in seasons that bring some of life’s greatest adversity, so many people are going it alone.  There are several pitfalls to real friendship.  But the good news is that there are also answers.

• Pitfall: Fair-weather friendship.  If, as the proverb says, a brother or sister is born for adversity, then why do so many feel alone at those very times?
  • Antidote: Exchange convenience for commitment.  We all need to have friends who do this, but we all have the ability to be those friends, too.
• Pitfall: Busyness.  “Haste leads to poverty,” says Proverbs 21:5.  Overscheduling is a huge cause for nominal friendships because it friendship requires the time to walk life’s journey together.
  • Antidote: Set it and forget it.  Hey, if we’re going to live highly scheduled lives, why not schedule time for friends, too?  Don’t wait for that time to just appear — make it a priority.  Set it in the calendar, and when the time comes, enjoy it!
• Pitfall: Lack of initiation.  When you were a kid, did you ever try to play on the teeter-totter with someone who didn’t do their part?  You just ended up sitting there…not teetering or tottering.  One-sided friendships can be like that.
  • Antidote: Recognize and respond to ‘bids.’  Bids are the little ways people indirectly ask for attention and validation.  Kids say “Mom, watch!”  Friends might say, “Dude, check this out.”  Giving our attention is a great way to take friendship initiative.
• Pitfall: Conflict avoidance.  Proverbs 27:6, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.”  No one like conflict, but they happen.  And a friendship that can’t address them is likely to stay superficial.
  • Antidote: Ask for feedback and insight.  Even when we’re not in a time of conflict, we can open the door to constructive input from our friends.  If they are in fact the ones who know us best, their insights should be valuable to us, even if it hurts a little bit to hear it.

For reflection:

1. Which of the four pitfalls are familiar to you?
2. Do any of the antidotes seem challenging?
3. What do you think are some causes and solutions to the problem of loneliness?

Many blessings,

MM

The Christ Familia

Colossians 3:18-4:1

This week we looked at one of the more controversial passages in Colossians. But context is key and Paul is skillfully subverting the foundations of the Roman Familia. If you are a Christian – the true authority of the family is Jesus himself. And if in the Roman Familia the Father has all the power, Paul is saying not so in the Christian home, because Jesus is the true master. Paul is walking a fine line here. He takes one of the most basic Roman institutions and reshapes it around Jesus, who rules the family with self-giving love. So, while Paul doesn’t critique the Roman house structure outright, he speaks to the reality that Jesus, Messiah, demands that it be transformed, almost beyond any recognition for any Roman living in Colossae. It is the Christ Familia. A family ordered by the lordship of Jesus Christ.

 

So you can only imagine how this speaks to us now. If the Christian household is different… if Paul is changing the status quo of how we live in our homes… what are the implications? Certainly, people are going to notice. They are going to wonder what kind of “ORDER” is provoking this? Where once there was judgment and fear, now there is grace and peace. There is greater emphasis on all people as members of God’s family.

 

You know, if we are honest there is an American Familia order that exists and is often at odds with the way of Jesus. Cynthia Keesmaat and Brian Walsh in their commentary of Colossians say this: 

 

Life in America is like life in a cult. We’ve been recruited into behaviors and cultural patterns we did not consciously choose … Think of what it is you and your family chase. Is it this new order Paul speaks of… Respect, love, obey, honor, not embittering your children, doing what is fair and right? Or do you and your family chase “cultural patterns” you aren’t consciously choose. Theygo on to say,The bulk of our population is dreaming the same dream. It’s a dream of wealth, power, fame, plenty of sex and exciting recreational activities. (Colossians Remixed by Brian J. Walsh and Sylvia C. Keesmaat.)

 

Paul is asking, “Who rules your home? Is it Christ?” We are all bombarded by temptations to live the American Familia. To chase that dream of more money, recreation and power. And yet Jesus says there is not life to the fullest there… just as there wasn’t in the Roman order of familia. Life in America is often so hurried, frenzied and rushed. But Jesus calls us to slow down and be present with others and with God.

 

Many of us who have families are ordering the year ahead. Consider prioritizing the Christ Ordering which pushes back against the patterns of our culture.

 

*Regular Weekly Worship

*Daily table Fellowship with your family

*Weekly table Fellowship with other families

*Rest and weekly Sabbath

*Self-giving love exhibited to neighbor and friend. 

Blessings,

Pastor Aaron

The Story of the Covenant

Deuteronomy 6:20-25

It’s interesting how knowing more about our past informs our present, and even our future.  When I was in high school, I didn’t understand why the study of history was interesting; it seemed like a bunch of irrelevant black-and-white photos and phrases like “Federal Judiciary Act of 1789.”  Ugh.

Thankfully, I later learned more about how history impacts the present, and that intersection is really where knowing our history becomes not only interesting or relevant, but crucially important to our identity and future.

And Moses knew this.

That’s why he commanded the budding nation of Israel to never forget who they were.  As J.A. Thompson notes: “The original covenant [with Moses at Mt. Sinai]…was not simply an event of the past which concerned Israel’s ancestors only, but was the concern of Israel in every age.  The original Israel held within it all later Israelites.”*

What’s interesting is that, anticipating the need to “pass the baton” of nationhood from one generation to the next, Moses gave instruction about how to explain the “stipulations, decrees and laws” of the people.  The answer: Learn our story.  Tell our story.  

The connection between ancient Israelites and today’s worldwide community of Christians is, of course, Jesus Christ.  Jesus fulfilled the original covenant, and thus established a new covenant in himself, rather than in the Law.  Those who are in Christ therefore also share in the story of the covenant people, all the way from the beginning.

For reflection:

1. What are some of the stories from your personal life that still inform who you are today?
2. What do already know about the Bible and the story it tells?
3. What do you still need to learn about the Bible?
4. Learning and telling the story of our faith is always done better in COMMUNITY.  Are you connected to “Group Life” at UPPC?

 

 

 

 

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*J.A. Thompson, Deuteronomy: An Introduction and Commentary, Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries (Downers Grove: IVP, 2008) 128.

When “I Do” Doesn’t Last

One of the most significant events in the life of an adult is the wedding day.

We dress in clothes we’ll never wear again.  People fly from all over to attend.  Photographers, videographers, DJs, bakers, chefs, musicians, and of course an officiant to facilitate.  Family and friends to bear witness…to witness what?  The bride and groom sharing a bite of cake?  Dancing the macarena?  No.  The entire event revolves around the wedding vows.

But if and when a couple cannot keep their vows, there’s no party.  No photographers.  Only the end of something that, when it began, was meant to last.

Divorce is one of the most painful of life’s crises, and yet it’s so common that I’d bet anyone reading this knows at least one person who’s been through divorce.  It’s not the way God intended relationships to end.  In fact, Jesus is one of the harshest critics of divorce in Matthew 19:1-10.

So it’s essential to health of any marriage to attend to some of the strongest realities that can lead to divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  And rather than giving up to these forces, to faithfully, prayerfully, and humbly address each if they’ve appeared in our marriages.

And our Lord, from whom we each receive grace beyond measure, promises to be with us always, by the power of the Holy Spirit, each step of the way.

For reflection:

1. Which of the four forces that can wreck a marriage are the most familiar to you?
2. What is a way to begin to actively reverse those forces in your relationship?
3. If you are experiencing these destructive forces, what are some ways your relationship with God can help? Be as specific as possible.
4. If you have experienced divorce, what is some wisdom you’ve learned that might help those who would like to avoid divorce?

Many blessings,

MM

…Then We Had Kids

Psalm 127 (NLT)

We all work hard at so many things.  Health, career, home, school…and of course relationships.  There’s even a familiar axiom: “Marriage is hard work.”

And the same is true for raising children.  No matter how children are introduced into a couple’s lives (natural birth, adoption, fostering, etc.) they represent a permanent change to the marriage dynamic.  Raising children is hard work, and in each stage of their childhood, challenges that get overcome are typically met with new challenges of the next stage of growing up!

Of course, raising children is also noble work!  But sometimes that for which we work the hardest can be the most difficult for us to relinquish control of.  This tendency to forget — or refuse — to let God have the final say in our lives is what Psalm 127:1-2 is about.

Moreover, if we work our hardest at raising good children, we can sometimes neglect the needs of marriage.  This is not only hard on the marriage, but it’s also hard on the kids, who find their deepest security in the strength of their parents’ love and commitment for one another.  So when children become part of a family, parents can (and should) take intentional steps to continue to cultivate the health of their marriage.

For reflection:

1. What is something that you work really hard at, and what do you hope to accomplish?
2. What can you do to regularly “let the Lord build your house?”
3. What are some of the ways the presence of children can make it difficult to “work on” a marriage?
4. What are some of the ways the presence of children can enhance a marriage?
5. What are some ways that parents can intentionally nurture their marriage, after they’ve brought kids into the family?

Many blessings,

MM

 

Now Concerning the Unmarried

1 Corinthians 7:25-35

John 15:1-7

Being a single adult in a church culture can be … what’s the word … awkward.

For some reason, many church communities revolve around an actual, or perceived, core of nuclear families.  Despite the extremely diverse array of family systems in any community, people who are unmarried (for any number of reasons) can feel like they’re on the outside looking in, as the church appears to be designed the fit the needs of married people and families, rather than single people.

And this culture can have impact beyond church programs.  It can lead to conversations and comments that are awkward at best, and emotionally damaging at worst–especially when one of the church’s goals is to communicate the unconditional love of God.

But when the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, he seemed to almost dismiss people’s marital status as relatively unimportant.  If you’re single, stay single.  If married, stay married!  Paul tries to keep the Corinthians’ focus on what mattered most — Jesus’ return and the completion of the Kingdom of God.

Verse 35 is the key: in whatever circumstances you find yourself, live in “undivided devotion to the Lord.”

For reflection:

1. In what ways do you think marital status impacts a person’s purpose in God’s Kingdom?
2. If Paul believes marriage is good, why does he also lift up singleness in this passage?
3. In what ways could you not just “overlook,” but even leverage your marital status (single, married, divorced, widowed, etc.) to make the greatest impact in our community for God’s Kingdom?
4. Jesus commands us to remain connected to himself, as branches in a vine.  And then he commands that we love each other as he loves us.  How will this impact the way you relate to people the next time you’re at church, at work, and so forth?

Many blessings,

MM

 

The Myths of Marriage

Some myths die hard.

Let’s define “myth” in this case as a truism that we hear permeating our culture, but which few people ever really take the time to test.  Are there any “myths” about marriage that it’s time to put through the ringer?

The truth is that anyone who has been in a committed relationship for very long starts to realize very quickly that many of the myths they may have once believed are “busted” along the way.  Here are a few:

Myth #1: Wives should submit to their husbands.

Whoa.  This one has been abused for a looooong time.  But it’s time we read it the way Paul intended us to.  Eugene Peterson’s translation in the Message really helps.  Husbands, it’s time to get real about who is blessing whom in your marriage.

Myth #2: Love is a feeling.

Well, take a look at Ephesians 5:1-2.  See if Paul describes love as a feeling.  What you’ll find is rather a list of…you got it.  Actions.

Myth #3: If love is true, it’ll be easy.

Along with this comes the myth that there is someone “just right” for each of us, or that “you complete me.”  Rubbish.  The reality is that the hard times are what really strengthen our most intimate relationships.

Myth #4: Proximity is the same as intimacy.

Couples sometimes end up living in “parallel.”  They think they are close because of common goals, chores, etc.  But what happens when the kids are raised?  When the house is paid off and you retire from your job?  Happy couples are mindful of finding ways to intersect their lives, and not just live in parallel.

Myth #5: Your partner should meet all your needs.

Uh, well, this is just not going to happen.  The One who can meet your needs is in fact the One who created you, and your spouse.  And who brought you together.  And who is calling you to reflect His divine love and purpose.  The living God can meet our individual needs and our needs as couples and families.

For reflection:

1. What “myths” have been busted by your real-life experience in relationship?
2. How would you like to be married to…yourself?  What would that be like?
3. Make a list of 3-5 “small things” you can do often (daily, weekly) to pour love out on your partner, the way God pours love out on you.

Many blessings,

MM

 

The Keys to “Happily Ever After”

Marriage.  Singleness.  Dating.  Divorce.

If it has to do with intimate relationships, it can be pretty sensitive territory.  So we’re moving into this five-week series, “Happily Ever After” on marriage and relationships, with full knowledge and consideration that everyone has a unique story.  Still, it’s the very importance of the topic of marriage and relationships that makes it so important to talk openly about.

Even if you grew up around “happy marriages,” people in those marriages probably didn’t sit you down and say, “Now let me tell you why our marriage is so healthy,” and then give you a simple 3-step master plan.

In Philippians 2:1-8, Paul longs for the church to experience unity, even within the midst of their personal uniqueness.  And we can do this, he claims, if we have the same mindset as Christ, who emptied himself for our sake.

Pastor Aaron today used the image of a fuel tank.  We can fill someone’s tank, but we also have to take from it.  Any relationship is a balance of give and take.  Unfortunately, many relationships are running on fumes.  One or both parties are using up the reserves but not doing anything to fill it back up again.  What would it look like to have the mindset of Christ and pour ourselves out for the sake of the person with whom we are the closest?

For reflection:

1. If you had to list up to five things that your partner does to “empty” your tank, what would they be?
2. If you could list up to five things that your partner does to “fill” your tank, what would they be?
3. What’s standing in the way of sharing these things with your spouse or significant other?
4. If you currently don’t have a significant other, how can thinking through these questions help you if and when you do date or marry someone?

Blessings,

MM

From Lost to One

1 Peter 2:4-10

With Thanksgiving officially come-and-gone, the “holiday season” has begun!  (Okay, if you’re in retail it began some time in October…maybe even September!)

So it got me thinking about why this season so often involves spending time with family (for better or worse!)  Maybe it’s because family is our first experience of being “a people.”  Today’s passage was meant to be read by a number of different people-groups who had no earthly reason to see themselves as unified.  But because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, God reaches out to lost and disparate peoples, transforming them “from lost to one.”

But why?

It today’s passage, Peter proclaims that God is building a whole new kind of people, characterized not by merit or birth, but by mercy and re-birth.  And God is creating this people to embody a “spiritual home” (v.5) for the world, to declare all that is praiseworthy (v.9) about God.

For reflection:

1. Who are “your people?”  Family?  Friends?  Countrymen?  How do you draw those lines?
2. How does the gospel of Jesus blur the lines of peoplehood, as we typically understand it?
3. If God is building you into a “spiritual home,” (v.5) how at-home do you think people feel when they’re with you?
4. If our purpose is to declare God’s excellence (v.9), how could we do that day-to-day that would bless people?  In words?  In deeds?
5. Finally, how can our “good words and deeds” be clearly understood by others as motivated by the fact that “once we had not received mercy, but now we have received mercy?”  (v.10)

Many blessings,

Mike